I Dont Want Fame I Dont Want Money I Just Want to Have Fun Again Lyrics
Beloved songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and most of our worst ideas.
Zilch expert tin can come of this. Photo by Achim Voss/Flickr.
Throughout human history, oceans have been crossed, mountains take been scaled, and great families accept blossomed — all because of a few simple chords and a melody that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.
On the other manus, that time yous told that girl you lot merely started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? Yous did that considering of a love vocal. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she of a sudden decided to "lose your number" and move back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."
"It's but, my mom. You know? And 50.A. is so hot in the summertime. And yeah, my mom." Photo via iStock.
That time you held that smash box over your head exterior your ex'southward house? Y'all did that because of a love song. And 50 hours of customs service later, you're yet non back together.
Love songs are great. They make our hearts shell faster. They inspire us to have risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas nigh how bodily, existent-life human relationships should piece of work.
They're amazing. So amazing. And also terrible.
Here are 6 love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and ane song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:
one. "God Just Knows," by The Beach Boys
You tin keep your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Get Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas."
When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where information technology's at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. A necktie-dye swirl of sound. A mural of haunted innocence with some of the almost heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard.
Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo by Hulton Annal/Getty Images.
Here'south why it sounds romantic:
I may not ever love yous
But long as there are stars in a higher place you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure nearly information technology
God just knows what I'd exist without you lot
If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and non playing "God Just Knows" on your iPod, you should really stop and start over.
If you're lazily bumping a beach brawl over a volleyball net and "God Just Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the back of your mind, you demand to rethink the choices that got y'all to this point.
If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," yous are doing it wrong.
Hippies, probable on their style to a mud frolic. Photograph past Colin Davey/Getty Images.
Information technology'due south a vocal that simply feels like love. Pure love. Young love. Dear with a chill, kelp-y vibe.
What could be wrong with that?
Here's why it's actually actually, actually unromantic:
There's goose egg wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-tiptop notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair as they fall asleep while you lot whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.
"Miles Ryan stood on the back porch of his house, smoking a cigarette..." Photo by hatchettebookgroup.biz.
But at that place is such a thing every bit loving someone a skosh also much.
If you should ever go out me
Though life would nonetheless go on believe me
The world could show zip to me
And so what good would living do me?
Await, I get it. Breakups suck. At that place'southward no getting effectually that. But good God.
There's a huge deviation between saying: "Hey babe, you lot are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if yous go." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, so I'm just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and call it a life."
But that'due south pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...
God but knows what I'd be without y'all
...horror-movie creepy. Because the respond, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!"
Ah well. We had a good run. Photo via iStock.
That'southward not love. That's codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. It's a course of emotional abuse.
Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in whatever relationship — ane that, past definition, might one twenty-four hour period end — is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Sure, God may simply know what you'd be without her, but God probably also hopes you take, I don't know, some hobbies. Have a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.
"Yes! Hell aye! What was her name again?" Photo past Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Assistants.
One person cannot be anyone's be-all and end-all. It's too stressful. And it prevents you lot from doing y'all, which is a thing that'southward gotta exist done before you tin do annihilation else.
No wonder she took that job in Seattle.
2. "Treasure," by Bruno Mars
Sure, it's a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've ever heard. But, we don't take Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.
Await at that face. That face up! Photo by Brothers Le/Flickr.
Here's why the song sounds romantic:
Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you're my gilt star
Yous know you can brand my wish come truthful
If you permit me treasure y'all
If you let me treasure you
Laissez passer those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an 8th-form make-out party and you'll likely get an instant toll laissez passer on the highway to tongue-town (ew).
Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, appointment nighttime is going to culminate in 47 minutes of celibate-yet-passionate frenching.
Pass them to a cop who pulls you lot over for running a stop sign, and they will think you're weird — but probably withal make out with you.
In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime laissez passer to make out with America because of this song.
This is what happens when y'all write "Treasure" and you're on stage with Michelle Obama. Photo past Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.
And I'1000 OK with that.
Only, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as information technology seems:
Everything most "Treasure" is retro. Everything.
Including its attitudes about gender.
"Children, have I ever told you what I shouted at your mother on the street the commencement time we met?" Photograph by Jacobsen/Getty Images.
Things get-go to go south correct from the very beginning:
Give me your, requite me your, give me your attention, baby
I gotta tell you lot a piffling something near yourself
Ah yes. Nada screams "respect" quite like a homo lecturing a strange woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself."
What could it exist? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could it be that she's got something in her teeth? Could it be that her nonfiction volume about early modern German language history is extremely detailed and informative?
"Thank you for teaching me all near Martin Luther's bible!" Photograph past Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Commons.
Spoiler Alert: Information technology's none of those.
You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady
But yous walk around hither like you lot wanna be someone else
Oh. It's that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original.
Word of communication? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it actually doesn't touch on her day-to-24-hour interval so much that you, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).
So what if she does want to be someone else? I'd love to be someone else! I call back being Ryan Gosling would be quite nice. A adept way to spend a three-solar day weekend.
Sure, there'd be an adjustment menstruation... Photo by Eamonn Grand. McCormack/Getty Images.
And then later, of course, the narrator can't help himself:
Pretty daughter, pretty girl, pretty girl, you lot should exist smiling
A girl like y'all should never look so bluish.
He respects her so much, he'south actually straight-upward telling her to grin! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I estimate everybody's got a matter.
Yes, in the world of "Treasure," a salubrious relationship is an unending stream of a man complimenting a strange adult female and said adult female existence then totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sexual practice."
He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the world'southward creepiest pirate:
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
Y'all are my treasure, yep, you, yous, y'all, you are
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, you lot, you, you are
Past this point, in his mind, she's a literal thing. An object. Which is fitting.
I suppose information technology could exist worse, though. At least she'south non just any matter.
GIF from "The Two Towers."
That's ... something, right?
3. "Don't Call up Twice, It'southward All Right," by Bob Dylan
For equally long every bit humans accept been dating each other, humans accept been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.
Bob Dylan, a guy who is good at writing songs that a lot of people like. Photograph past William Lovelace/Getty Images.
Here'south why it sounds romantic:
Well, information technology ain't no use to sit down and wonder why, babe
Even you don't know by now
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
Information technology'll never practise somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Wait out your window, and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm a-traveling on
But don't think twice, information technology's all correct.
Boom. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation like whoa.
"Don't Call up Twice" is a raw vocal. An honest song. A powerful song. It's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for half dozen months after her fellow left for college. The vocal that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller job, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open up a air current chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend'southward absurd dad always wants to play when he invited your high school band over to his apartment to jam.
"What timbre are yous looking for?" Photograph by Sharon Ang/Pixabay.
Sure, information technology'south most the terminate of a relationship, just it sounds romantic. And at the terminate of the day, shouldn't that be plenty?
Here's why it's actually sooooo messed up:
Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no correct way to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly do good from a difficult, honest discussion about what went wrong.
Information technology'southward non me, Joan. It'due south you. 100% you. Photo past Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.
In "Don't Call up Twice," that word basically boils downwards to: "It's your fault."
Let's review the reasons the dude in "Don't Think Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:
I gave her my heart, merely she wanted my soul
Ugh, women, right? Yous're all like, "Babe, I just have so much unspecified love to requite," and she's like, "Take out the trash!" And you're like, "But baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my centre be plenty?" And she's like, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and fabricated both of our lunches for the calendar week. All I need you to do is take out the trash." And you're like, "You're bumming me out. I'm gonna become play guitar." And so she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change you? UGH!
You could have done better, but I don't mind
Yes. Yous do mind! You listen! You wrote a song most information technology, you passive-ambitious prick.
You merely kinda wasted my precious fourth dimension
Ah yes. Your time is and so precious! Think about all the hours y'all wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when you lot could have been futzing around with that domicile-mash kit.
Yeah, this was worth it. Photo by Neb Bradford/Flickr.
The infinitesimal yous commencement breaking information technology down, the message of "Don't Retrieve Twice" suddenly starts to seem a lot less romantic. Similar your sis's ex-boyfriend, who worked at the Bass Pro Store in boondocks for a while and now might exist in jail. Like your aunt'southward wind chime shop, which would have closed forever ago had she non received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.
"You kids desire a beer? No 1'due south under thirteen, right?" Photo via iStock.
Oh yep, and the song's narrator as well point-blank refers woman he'southward leaving equally:
A child, I'g told
That's right. In addition to being a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive jerk — turns out, he's also possibly a pedophile.
Even if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a child — which there'southward no indication information technology is, only OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects way more poorly on him than information technology does on her.
Breaking upwards with anyone in such a fell, dismissive manner is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.
Which, I suppose, may be the point.
4. "Leaving on a Jet Airplane," by John Denver
Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song most hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?
This guy. Photo past Hughes Television Network/Wikimedia Commons.
Here's why it sounds romantic:
"Leaving on a Jet Airplane" is a lovely vocal. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were withal kind of new at the fourth dimension it was written.
'Crusade I'g leavin' on a jet plane
To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'grand a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," only in a manner that's somehow nevertheless folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-year-olds at summer camp. Not easy to exercise!
Oh baby, I hate to get
You lot see — he hates to become! He only hates it! We know this, because he tells us he hates information technology. And why would he hate to go if he didn't love his partner only that much?
See ya! Photo by Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.
Why indeed?
Here's why information technology's actually non that romantic at all:
All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the earth can but distract so much from the fact that the song's chief graphic symbol is well, kind of a jerkweed.
And in reality — surprise surprise! — it doesn't actually seem like he hates beingness away all that much:
At that place's so many times I've let you downwardly
So many times I've played around
I tell y'all now, they don't mean a matter
"Babe, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were home nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex activity I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to practice! Actually fun. Like, I had a fantastic time. But residual bodacious — completely empty, in an ontological sense."
"Equally empty as this bed I but finished having sex with someone else in." Photo via iStock.
Yes, when you break information technology down, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to dear overcoming distance and more than the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he's "good" despite all evidence to the reverse.
And for all he claims to exist broken up about having to part from his one and only, the dude seems pretty excited nearly the flying. Oh, you're leaving on a jet plane, are you lot? Are you Zone ane? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo limited salad you were forced to choke downwards as you lot sat waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious hazard?
"Life and then hard @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photo by Gesalbte/Wikimedia Commons.
He continues:
Ev'ry place I go, I'll call back of yous
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you
Ah absurd. He'll think nigh her while strumming and making "my dearest is frail as the morn dew" optics at a waif-y grad student in the forepart row. That pretty much makes up for it all.
Then he demands:
So osculation me and grinning for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
After all the expose and heartbreak, later on basically revealing himself to exist a grade-A sleaze who can't be trusted, he even so has the gall to tell her to wait? To wait for him?
And here's the kicker:
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring
Ah yes. He'll put a ring on information technology. Finally.
"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.
Unlike all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, drained the family unit depository financial institution account, and just been a general screwup and thwarting.
But yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding ring.
I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back.
5. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge
When you look upwardly "soul" in the dictionary, the book plays you a recording of this song.
Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photo by Cistron Pugh/Flickr.
Specifically, it plays you the very outset line.
Here's why it audio very romantic:
When a man loves a woman
Sure, you tin can write the lyrics down, only information technology doesn't even come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, succulent hurting-belting:
WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN
Closer ... but notwithstanding no.
WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!
Yes! Sing information technology, Percy Sledge!
It's an elemental lyric.
It's a heart-shattering lyric.
Information technology's a lyric that demands yous put your back into it.
It'south perfection.
As long as you don't continue listening.
Hither's why the vocal is actually pretty horrifying:
From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Adult female," we know that, at least on occasion, a human loves a woman.
Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said adult female?
He'd give upwards all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the style
It ought to be.
Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A man, no matter how devoted, no thing how selfless, no thing how in dearest, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.
Turn his back on his all-time friend if he put her down.
No! Jeez. No. A man tin can't put up with that kind of isolating behavior. A homo needs friends! One time a man'southward whole support system erodes out from nether him, a man will be bitter, ungrounded, and alone. And a human being's mental health will deteriorate.
I gave yous everything I have
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless honey
Baby, please don't treat me bad.
This is non what happens "when a human loves a adult female." It'due south what happens when a homo loves a controlling, manipulative woman. An abusive woman. A woman who, in truth, but loves a adult female. Herself.
"It's Chris or me." Photo by geralt/Pixabay.
And that'southward not healthy.
Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're here for y'all.
(Side notation: Lest it become implied, there is way more one way for a man to honey a woman. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the nose. Peradventure they sleep in separate bedrooms. Possibly they dress up in large, costly true cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a man, I imagine information technology feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)
Regardless of the depth of delivery, living situation, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, at that place'due south no one-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There'south more than 1 way to peel a cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
It doesn't matter if it'due south the correct metaphor, as long equally information technology's a metaphor. Photo by Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.
Bespeak beingness: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! Yous can practise this! And if you ever find yourself in a similar state of affairs, please give these people a call.
6. "All I Wanna Do is Make Beloved to You," Heart
Honestly, Eye could sing a list of the most popular AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie's Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/World's Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and information technology would make me want to bawl my eyes out in the arms of a tall, nighttime stranger at the end of a pier.
This song is perfect. Y'all should ever be listening to it. If you're not listening to it now, smack yourself in the face and Google it. It's simply that important.
I am singing the phone book. You are weeping like a tiny baby. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.
And then much passion. So much pain. Then much hair.
Here'due south why information technology sounds romantic:
Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson evangelize a primal tribute to the ane true romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Earth: picking up an unnervingly attractive man for i nighttime of listen-blowing sexual activity and then releasing him back into the wild to os — but never quite every bit compellingly ever again.
They sing:
It was a rainy dark when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no glaze
And then I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile so nosotros collection for a while
I don't take to proceed because you know what happens next, and it's awesome.
"I just sit down in this cabin. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photograph by Rene Asmussen/Pexels.
At present, here'due south why this vocal is not romantic at all:
The human relationship in "All I Wanna Practice" seems too proficient to be truthful. And it is. Because information technology'southward not an as loving ,or even every bit lusty, pairing at all.
It'due south a...
It'south a...
Well. You know what information technology is:
Good at recognizing no-win situations and succulent with lemon?! Photo past Pikawil/Flickr.
For a while, things are humming along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should:
I didn't ask him his proper name, this lone male child in the rain
Fate, tell me it's right, is this dearest at first sight?
Sure, many of u.s.a. might hesitate to pick up a strange leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator just has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, you gotta get with your gut.
I tin can respect that.
We made magic that night
He did everything right
Great! Seems similar information technology was a good decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big time.
But then, without alert, the song starts to sound less like an best great romance and more than like a story men's rights activists tell each other equally they vape around a campfire:
I told him "I am the flower, y'all are the seed
Nosotros walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, delight don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always exist there"
I'm not a poet. Symbolic linguistic communication often eludes me. But unless "flower," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly hateful wildly different things in the context of human reproduction than they have since sex was first invented in the early-1970s, nosotros're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!
Hullo! Photo past Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Commons.
Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. You might be tempted to retrieve, "Possibly Eye meant something else by that."
To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:
And then it happened one twenty-four hours
We came circular the same way
You can imagine his surprise
When he saw his ain optics
At that place are ii possibilities here.
One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from 9 years ago:
Photo by eyedonation.org.
Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.
I said, "Please, please understand
Ah, sure. Aye. No worries.
I'm in honey with another man
Cool, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not one just ii lives.
And what he couldn't requite me, oh, no
Was the one little thing that you can"
A HUMAN LIFE! A REAL SENTIENT HUMAN LIFE THAT IS Non INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!
The all-time you lot tin can say well-nigh that is that information technology'southward not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should have been responsible for his ain birth control. Or, at the very least, asked more questions .
But ... it'south not cute. Information technology's not romantic (even the Wilson sisters themselves concur).
And at the end of the day, the shadiest grapheme in this vocal is somehow not the pelting-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the night.
Which... is saying something.
But there is a dear vocal that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves.
A song that does everything right.
A song that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership congenital to last.
A song that tin double equally a manual for the ideal homo romantic human relationship.
And that song is...
"Candy Shop," by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia
Here's why you might be — OK, near definitely are — skeptical:
50 Cent (50) and that guy. You know, that guy? That guy! Photograph past Ethan Miller/Getty Images.
As catchy as "Candy Shop" is, equally fun information technology is to dance to, and equally cathartic as information technology can be to scream in the middle of a crowded fraternity firm at 2 a.m., there'south no getting effectually the fact that the song begins similar this:
I'll have y'all to the candy shop
I'll permit you lick the lollipop
I'll post that again, in case you missed some of the nuance:
I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let y'all lick the lollipop
Manner to take 1 for the team, narrator of "Candy Shop"!
At first glance, "Candy Store" is nobody's idea of a classic honey song.
The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The beat is kinda basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."
OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."
It doesn't become played much anymore. When it does resurface, information technology feels ... kinda dated. Like watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" on your new Xbox 360.
It'south not a song y'all'd put on a mixtape for your beat out. Information technology's not a song yous'd play for your spouse when the kids are at dwelling house with the babysitter and y'all've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It's certainly not a song you'd include on the video photo montage you made for your grandparents' silver ceremony.
Information technology's but not.
Merely it should be.
And then here it is. Here'southward why "Processed Shop" by fifty Cent, featuring Olivia, is really the perfect relationship vocal:
You wanna back that thing upward or should I push up on it? Photo by ionasnicolae/Pixabay.
The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. It's only been 20 seconds, and you're already getting ready to hang information technology up with "Candy Shop."
But then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a phenomenon occurs — in the form of a female voice joining the track, cutting through the din like a clarion phone call.
She sings:
I'll take you to the processed shop (yeah)
Boy, one taste of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll have yous spendin' all you lot got (come on)
Continue going 'til you hit the spot, whoa
It's mutual! It's mutual! They're performing oral sex activity on each other!
Ring the bells! Blindside the drums! Release the doves!
Go, cunnilingus doves, go! Photo by liz west/Flickr.
50 Cent himself may not be the earth's greatest partner — for example, according to 1 of his exes, he's done some pretty unforgivable things.
But the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:
Y'all could have information technology your way, how do you desire it?
Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God Only Knows ("I'm going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'm going to treat you like a breast full of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Dear to You," ("I'm going to trick you into knocking me upwards!") — the "Processed Store" guy really asks his partner what she wants.
Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about fifty,000 trillion points.
And where are they going to do information technology? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?
It'due south any you're into
'Crusade consent is sexy!
I ain't finished teaching you 'bout how sprung I got ya
The narrator of "Processed Store" is certainly ... assertive nearly his desires.
Merely here's the cardinal matter: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into it. And we know this considering she says so.
The lines of consent in "Processed Shop" are bright red, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky club floor.
Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photo by Grim23/Wikimedia Eatables.
Daughter what we practise ...
And where we do ...
The things we exercise ...
Are just between me and y'all
No matter how nasty they freak, it will be intimate. It will be private. At that place will exist no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely exist a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of any human relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very possibly in the case of "Processed Shop") minutes long.
She may accept a high sex drive, but dude is graciously offering to adjust her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids but might go the altitude later all.
And at the stop of the day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing health insurance?
Thanks, Obamacare! Photograph by Wonderlane/Flickr.
It'southward like it's a race who could go undressed quicker
Again, everybody is having a great time. And, critically, an equally great time.
I touch the right spot at the correct time
Of class, it wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop striking without a spot of random braggadocio, simply if we're to accept him at his give-and-take, "Candy Store" guy is at least as good at "doing everything correct" as the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.
The "Processed Store" guy is a keeper. Considering he'south non a hero or a stranger in the nighttime or a funky, shimmering love god. He's a practiced partner.
"Processed Store" is raunchy. Information technology's muddy. It'due south not your grandmother's beloved song.
But when you lot strip away the swagger, the dorsum beat, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the vocal, both people are satisfied. And at the finish of the day, isn't that what a healthy relationship is all about?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.
So seductive.
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is
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